At last, we are done with audio issues. And just in time to lead the troops in Assassin’s Creed 3.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Since starting this replay series with the first Assassin’s Creed, I have consistently hounded Ubisoft for it’s strange concept of moral relativity. In no uncertain terms, these are ultimately games written from a centrist, fence-sitting perspective, mistaking false or exaggerated equivalencies with deep philosophy, like South Park and similarly rote works.

While I still maintain that position in the context of the broader shadow war between the Assassins and Templars, this viewpoint that seeks to relentlessly tear down all other perspectives so that it can demonstrate how much smarter it is to sit in the middle has a lot of ammo to use against the American Colonial Settlers of the mid-to-late 1700s. Suddenly, in this specific, concrete context, this otherwise worthless strain of thought is able to launch into substantive critiques of the era.

I am compelled by this random, otherwise completely missable conversation between Ratonhnhaké꞉ton and Samuel Adams starting at 18:55. In broad strokes, Connor raises the point to Samuel Adams that spreading word that loyalists fired first when the truth was that no one knows if that’s true is a dishonest tactic. Thus, the question is raised whether or not resorting to cheap propaganda and dirty tricks risks poisoning the foundation of the new country before it even gets built.

Ubisoft has no need to create false equivalencies to criticize the “good guys” of the Revolution, because it’s already known that these people were deeply flawed, deeply hypocritical human beings. History has already done the heavy lifting, documenting the various atrocities committed by the colonists. All Ubisoft has to do to bring them down a peg is to tell the unabashed truth of it all.

Despite our attempts to leave him in peace after foiling his first plan, William Johnson has returned to steal Native America territory for the Templars.

As Acharky and I know, there is no other choice. He dies today.

(This week’s audio is a huge step up from last week, but it appears I still have issues to debug with my audio balance post-restore. This is still not up to my standard of quality and I do apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Here we are again, another Templar trying to justify cruelty and executions by claiming that the next person will be far worse. Now, while is technically correct giving America’s historic treatment of the Native American population, that’s still no justification for willful participation in said cruelty.

Seems pertinent to point that out in the year of this writing: 2025.

And next week, I’m sure we’ll have more to say of this topic. Hopefully with correct audio balancing this time.

With his new robes, Ratonhnhaké꞉ton has finally become an Assassin now that we’re 40% or so into the campaign. And as Acharky says, he looks incredible in them.

(This week’s audio is a huge step up from last week, but it appears I still have issues to debug with my audio balance post-restore. This is still not up to my standard of quality and I do apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

It’s hard to go through playable reenactments of the Boston Massacre, the Boston Tea Party, and (in the next episode) The Midnight Ride without feeling like we’re in a sequel to Forest Gump. I admit that I’ve not from Italy, so my view on Italian history is about as far removed as one could possibly be. And yet, I imagine that tales like the Pazzi Conspiracy and Rodrigo Borgia’s ascent to the papacy are far enough removed from modern Italian history that most Italian’s playing Assassin’s Creed 2 aren’t immediately familiar with the subjects.

Colonial America circa 1770 is very recent on the world stage. As an American citizen, my country’s history is so young that almost all of it is at least touched on in school, even if most education skips the more unsightly bits in favor of a more patriotic viewpoint. Most children in this country are raised up to idolize figures like George Washington, Paul Revere, Benjamin Franklin, et cetera. These are tales that any American schoolboy could recite almost by heart. As a result, it hits differently than Renaissance Italy does, but I’m not sure if that’s better or worse quite yet.

On one hand, the fact that this is a game developed in Canada for a French company means that they’re able to look at US History with a more sober lens. We can discuss matters like slave ownership and Manifest Destiny in ways that acknowledge the genuine pain and horror inflicted upon the victims of those practices.

And on the other hand, here we are dumping tea into the Boston harbor because the profits from the sales were secretly a Templar scheme to fund the purchase of Native American land. The gravity of the setting is undercut by the desire both to undertake historical tourism and weave this fraught subject matter into the franchise’s global conspiracy theory.

I appreciate what they’re going for, and I’m even enjoying it in the moment. The narrative team demonstrates skillful writing in taking full advantage of Connor’s position in this. He has no attachment to the revolution beyond what it means for his tribe, and they used that to their advantage.

Yet in just a moment, Paul Revere will be riding on our horse as we escort him through his Midnight Ride, and I have difficulty squaring the severity of the writing with the inherent goofiness of such a mission.

In a shocking turn of events, Acharky and I finally get to play as Desmond Miles in the real world doing real Assassin missions. I know. We were as shocked as you are now.

(This week’s audio is a huge step up from last week, but it appears I still have issues to debug with my audio balance post-restore. This is still not up to my standard of quality and I do apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

We said it in the middle of the episode, but this Desmond mission really does feel like it only exists in order to placate people like me, who wanted to see Desmond come into his own in what was supposed to be the series finale. Even after their pivot to a yearly schedule, they needed to payoff all the plot threads of the previous games, since the whole reason we dove into Ezio’s memories to begin with was to download his experience into Desmond’s brain via the Bleeding Effect. Otherwise, the Ezio trilogy would feel like one big waste of time in the narrative.

And honestly, it still does in a sense. This detour is a far cry from becoming the one who will save the world from the threat of the Mayan Apocalypse. They had time to ret con this is Revelations and chose to hold firm, for reasons I don’t honestly comprehend but likely had to do with the insane production schedules of these games.

It’s sad, but at least now we have Ratonhnhaké꞉ton’s incredibly well-designed robes to show for it.

Our training under Achilles continues as Ratonhnhaké꞉ton is induced into the ways of the Assassin Order.

(This week’s audio is a huge step up from last week, but it appears I still have issues to debug with my audio balance post-restart. This is still not up to my standard of quality and I do apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

While everyone is in a rush to call Assassin’s Creed 3 one of the worst games in this era of the franchise, including my co-host Acharky, it’s important to note that without this game, we would have never gotten Black Flag. This was Ubisoft’s first foray into ship combat, and the result was so successful that it spawned one of the popular games in the entire series to this day. (It also spawned Skull and Bones, but let’s focus on the successes instead.) Even other games from other companies, like the recent Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii, take inspiration from what AC3 did.

And it’s easy to see why. This is one of those control schemes where they just happened to nail it perfectly on the first release. There was almost no need to make any changes to how it plays, because it did an excellent job selling the fantasy of engaging in thrilling ship-on-ship battles on the high seas. When combined with the excellent sound design of waves, cannon fire, and collisions between ships, the whole fantasy comes to life before our very eyes.

Sadly, I don’t know much of it we’ll do on screen since it’s mostly a side objective, but don’t mistake that for disinterest. Even now, I love these missions.

Another tutorial down. Hopefully, this just means Acharky and I are one step close to becoming an Assassin in Assassin’s Creed 3.

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

I do think it’s an interesting detail that this is the first Assassin’s Creed game where players are able to fast travel directly from the map without using a Fast Travel Station. The maps in Assassin’s Creed 2 were big, but not so big that they were unmanageable.

This might be the first sign that the raw size of open world maps was growing too big, at least as far as this series was concerned. It’s a problem that would only get worse over time.

But what won’t get worse is my audio balancing. Next week, I’ll make sure that Acharky and I are more audible than the game, so that our conversations aren’t drowned out by dialogue and gunfire.

I really can’t apologize enough.

Against all odds, Acharky and I have managed to convince the old man to train us in the ways of the Assassin. With luck, this means we’re closer to our goals… whatever they happen to be.

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

While I frequently criticize Ubisoft for their staunch refusal to make a stand or say anything interesting with the stories in their video games, I must confess that I am impressed with the decision to use the viewpoint of a Mohawk tribesman with light enough skin to pass as a white man in their game set in Civil War-era America. Doing so gives them the freedom to discuss some of the darker aspects of this society directly in a way that’s rare.

As an American citizen who was taught my country’s history in our schools, I obviously know it’s relationship to slavery and the slave trade. I’m also aware of the oppression faced by the Native American tribes at the hands of the colonizers who formed this nation, but these topics are frequently only discussed on a surface level. The darker, grimmer aspects of that time are glossed over and sanitized all too often, both in education and in works of fiction.

Perhaps this could only happen because Assassin’s Creed 3 was developed in Canada for a French company, but either way it is a bold choice, especially for Ubisoft, to tackle that subject head on. Because the colonies in the North didn’t rely on slavery, it is easier to paint them as tolerant to those of African descent with their borders. But as Achilles painfully points out, he is not allowed to shop in the general store because he is a black man. He needs Ratonhnhaké꞉ton to shop on his behalf, which he only do because he can plausibly pass himself off as a white man.

And that’s why it’s important that a Native is the leading man for this story. A white person living in the colonies wouldn’t even think to question the injustice of these circumstances. His naivete to colonial society is a blessing because it allows the game to directly call this out and question why it was ever the case. And as we progress further into the game, it allows the development team even further leeway to show how ugly this aspect of the country, which has been a part of it since it before it was founded, can be to those who are victimized by it.

You may be surprised to learn that the Templars were actually the villains of Assassin’s Creed. Now that they’ve completely exposed themselves, let Acharky and I begin the task of dealing with them… after this tutorial.

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Even now as I write this, I feel torn about the point Acharky made while we were discussing the tutorials we were still getting here in Sequence 4. While I respect Ubisoft’s desire to slowly build up and set up the characters and conflict, especially since I am personally enjoying the experience so far, there is something said for the observation that we are over three hours into the game (ignoring all the side content, so for many players it would likely be even more time), and we have not seen our main character wearing the Assassin’s Robes. In fact, we will end this batch of recordings without seeing that.

As a point of comparison, we noted with Ezio in Assassin’s Creed 2 was wearing the Brotherhood Regalia in less than two hours of game time. Even though that game also continues tutorializing for another hour afterwards, we spend that time playing as our lead character in the role of as Assassin. Assassin’s Creed 2’s intro segment wastes very little time. We have just enough missions with Ezio’s family to form bonds with them, and understand why he cares about them, before we’re thrust into the revenge story at the heart of its plot.

I think Acharky is onto something when he points this out, because by this point in the story most of the other Assassin’s Creed games we’ve played up until now have fully completed their setup. We’ve already been thrust into the action, and it’s possible a lot of players weren’t ready for such a slow build. It makes me wonder how long is too long for an Act 1 in a video game like this.

I don’t have an answer, but it will be something I contemplate going forward.

Acharky and I have fully explored the memories of Haytham Kenway, and discovered a twist so shocking it knocked us straight out of the animus. When we return, what awaits us in the colonies?

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Conceptually, I like the idea of giving the player control of the villains first, presenting a situation in which they act heroically and do something genuinely benevolent, even if it’s towards selfish ends. Narratively, there are many interesting directions a writer can go when they allow the player to see the world through the antagonist’s eyes. However, there are two critical problems with the way this idea was executed in Assassin’s Creed 3.

The first is one we’ve already touched on. As a series, Assassin’s Creed sanitizes any philosophical or ethical discussions, sticking purely to broad, surface-level themes that vaguely gesture at nuance without actually participating in it. For this reason, they can’t offer an actual motivation behind Haytham and the Templars’ actions. We don’t have an example of what “control” or “order” mean or what the Templars fear might happen if they don’t exercise it. Any attachment the player has formed to Haytham’s group is driven largely by the sheer charisma of Adrian Hough’s performance as the man himself and Neil Napier’s rendition of Charles Lee.

Which leads in the second because that charisma almost instantly dissolves once these characters are cast fully into the villain role. In particular, Charles Lee’s metamorphosis from the puppy dog who was happy to help Haytham free the slaves to a maniacal bastard attacking “savage” children is so abrupt it gave me whiplash. Any nuance that might have been implied or gestured at thrown out the window since they burn an entire village down the moment we switch control to the game’s actual protagonist.

Thankfully, I know enough about Ubisoft’s catalog not to expect any better. In any other circumstance, it would be shocking how badly bungled this shift is.

Well, that general that tried to get in our way has become our next target, and Acharky and I won’t stop until we’ve finished the job. The Order demands it.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Credit where credit is due: Ubisoft actually pulled off an impressive trick with the reveal that Haytham and his posse were Templar agents from the very beginning. It’s the kind of reveal that the player could plausibly see coming because in retrospect all the signs were there. However, it’s obfuscated well enough that unless the player knows ahead of time, they are unlikely to spot those signs.

And yet, watching it again with fresh eyes and a modern game critic’s point-of-view, I can’t help but notice that the reason this twist can even be pulled off so effectively is because both the Assassins and the Templars have philosophies that are so broad and ill-defined that they’re completely vacuous. “Freedom” and “Order” aren’t actionable beliefs, policies, agendas, or manifestos. They are nebulous terms to which any action could be freely ascribed depending on context.

It’s not a topic that we’re new to, but it’s one that falls into stark relief in this light. This is, in fact, the same Ubisoft that revels in South Park’s brand of “enlightened centrism”, which remains detached of any particular belief structure and doesn’t see the value of standing up for or against any of them. It’s hollow, and that feels much worse in the era we currently live in.