You may be surprised to learn that the Templars were actually the villains of Assassin’s Creed. Now that they’ve completely exposed themselves, let Acharky and I begin the task of dealing with them… after this tutorial.

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Even now as I write this, I feel torn about the point Acharky made while we were discussing the tutorials we were still getting here in Sequence 4. While I respect Ubisoft’s desire to slowly build up and set up the characters and conflict, especially since I am personally enjoying the experience so far, there is something said for the observation that we are over three hours into the game (ignoring all the side content, so for many players it would likely be even more time), and we have not seen our main character wearing the Assassin’s Robes. In fact, we will end this batch of recordings without seeing that.

As a point of comparison, we noted with Ezio in Assassin’s Creed 2 was wearing the Brotherhood Regalia in less than two hours of game time. Even though that game also continues tutorializing for another hour afterwards, we spend that time playing as our lead character in the role of as Assassin. Assassin’s Creed 2’s intro segment wastes very little time. We have just enough missions with Ezio’s family to form bonds with them, and understand why he cares about them, before we’re thrust into the revenge story at the heart of its plot.

I think Acharky is onto something when he points this out, because by this point in the story most of the other Assassin’s Creed games we’ve played up until now have fully completed their setup. We’ve already been thrust into the action, and it’s possible a lot of players weren’t ready for such a slow build. It makes me wonder how long is too long for an Act 1 in a video game like this.

I don’t have an answer, but it will be something I contemplate going forward.

Acharky and I have fully explored the memories of Haytham Kenway, and discovered a twist so shocking it knocked us straight out of the animus. When we return, what awaits us in the colonies?

(As a heads-up, this week’s recording are terribly audio balanced because I forgot to do a sound check after restoring my PC. That blame lies solely on me, and I do deeply apologize.)

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Conceptually, I like the idea of giving the player control of the villains first, presenting a situation in which they act heroically and do something genuinely benevolent, even if it’s towards selfish ends. Narratively, there are many interesting directions a writer can go when they allow the player to see the world through the antagonist’s eyes. However, there are two critical problems with the way this idea was executed in Assassin’s Creed 3.

The first is one we’ve already touched on. As a series, Assassin’s Creed sanitizes any philosophical or ethical discussions, sticking purely to broad, surface-level themes that vaguely gesture at nuance without actually participating in it. For this reason, they can’t offer an actual motivation behind Haytham and the Templars’ actions. We don’t have an example of what “control” or “order” mean or what the Templars fear might happen if they don’t exercise it. Any attachment the player has formed to Haytham’s group is driven largely by the sheer charisma of Adrian Hough’s performance as the man himself and Neil Napier’s rendition of Charles Lee.

Which leads in the second because that charisma almost instantly dissolves once these characters are cast fully into the villain role. In particular, Charles Lee’s metamorphosis from the puppy dog who was happy to help Haytham free the slaves to a maniacal bastard attacking “savage” children is so abrupt it gave me whiplash. Any nuance that might have been implied or gestured at thrown out the window since they burn an entire village down the moment we switch control to the game’s actual protagonist.

Thankfully, I know enough about Ubisoft’s catalog not to expect any better. In any other circumstance, it would be shocking how badly bungled this shift is.

Well, that general that tried to get in our way has become our next target, and Acharky and I won’t stop until we’ve finished the job. The Order demands it.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Credit where credit is due: Ubisoft actually pulled off an impressive trick with the reveal that Haytham and his posse were Templar agents from the very beginning. It’s the kind of reveal that the player could plausibly see coming because in retrospect all the signs were there. However, it’s obfuscated well enough that unless the player knows ahead of time, they are unlikely to spot those signs.

And yet, watching it again with fresh eyes and a modern game critic’s point-of-view, I can’t help but notice that the reason this twist can even be pulled off so effectively is because both the Assassins and the Templars have philosophies that are so broad and ill-defined that they’re completely vacuous. “Freedom” and “Order” aren’t actionable beliefs, policies, agendas, or manifestos. They are nebulous terms to which any action could be freely ascribed depending on context.

It’s not a topic that we’re new to, but it’s one that falls into stark relief in this light. This is, in fact, the same Ubisoft that revels in South Park’s brand of “enlightened centrism”, which remains detached of any particular belief structure and doesn’t see the value of standing up for or against any of them. It’s hollow, and that feels much worse in the era we currently live in.

Now that we’ve freed some slaves, perhaps Acharky and I can enlist of locals to help us in our own quest on behalf of The Order.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

One of the topics we discuss in this episode is the setting, and how it relates to the parkour. Specifically, this is a time period sprawling cityscape didn’t yet exist in America. The nation we know today was still nothing more than a series of British colonies, and as a result they were still being developed.

We did not have large castles and tall buildings to climb over, parkour across, and synchronize with. Up until this game, that sense of verticality was central to the experience of Assassin’s Creed, and it’s absence is noticeable. Parkour is still an element. When we get to Ratonhnhaké꞉ton, we’ll see how it comes into play in new ways, but even then we’re much closer to the ground that we’ve been in previous games.

It’s one of those little things that causes me to question why colonialist America was chosen as a setting. I don’t know if I would call it a mistake, but I do wonder if there were better options available to Ubisoft at the time.

Acharky and I are on the move, looking to break-up a gang of slavers here in colonialist Boston. And even better, we have more people from The Order showing up to provide support!

You know… The Order! That one, yes!

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

I’ve already discussed this before with my Assassin’s Creed 2 Let’s Play, but it’s worth repeating again: While it’s fun to goof about the various outfits our protagonists wear and how they stand out in a crowd of civilians, they need to stand out. The player has to be able to tell at a glance which character is the one they’re playing as. As such, their costuming needs to be distinctive from everyone around them.

It is good fortune that we have a case in the last fight of this episode that demonstrates why this is important. Because Haythem was disguised as a red coat during the scene, I legitimately couldn’t tell which person on screen was him. For this reason, the fight grew muddy and unclear until I could reestablish who my main character was.

Perhaps if officers had a different color, and he was disguised as one, it might have made my life that much easier.

We’ve finally reached the new world, but with the same old problems. With Acharky by my side, we continue Assassin’s Creed 3.

This will be the first and last time I discuss how inaccurate American Civil War-era rifles and pistols were. Famously, the reason war was waged by having soldiers line up was that it was the only conceivable way these weapons were likely to hit something. And while that’s a fun history fact, it would make for a poor play experience if they player couldn’t accurately aim their weapons. Therefore, Ubisoft made the correct choice to ignore historical accuracy in favor of better game-feel.

On a different topic, I understand where Chris is coming from because many games do offer annoying, repetitive tutorials that reasonably could be skipped if the player was familiar with the basic mechanics. However, I am fully convinced that the Assassin’s Creed games are games where they logic breaks down, at least these early ones. They control differently from many other videos games in their genre, and because of that even someone returning to them years later, like myself, needs to have that tutorial just so they can be reacquainted with the controls.

It’s especially pronounced here as I fumble and stumble with the controls because this control scheme plays similarly enough to the old games in parkour that I forget to code switch while in combat. I’m sure I will get the hang of it as I continue to play, since I had a lesser version of this same issue in Revelations, but it is important to note that it’s happening. And I’m likely not the only person who had this issue with Assassin’s Creed 3.

What would a stream be without technical issues? Thankfully, I know how to resolve them, so Acharky and I are back with more Assassin’s Creed 3.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Since the topic came up on stream, I looked for comparisons between the original PS3 version of the game and this remastered version we’re playing. Digital Foundry praises it on a technical level, and I trust their opinions on that.

However, on an artistic level I find that this remaster looks worse than the PS3 a significant amount of the time, and much of that has to do with the changes made both a character models and lighting. Much of the lightning and detail work of the original game was done by hand, and in the remaster much of the work is lost. You notice it most in the facial details without needing a side-by-side comparison, but the direct comparisons also highlight how the new lighting makes senses feel washed out, losing much of the color and vibrancy of the original.

It’s unfortunate, especially since I’m growing increasingly accustom to similar Remasters making this exact same mistake. Doubtless I could spend far more time than is reasonable talking about this, but it is genuinely distracted seeing how poor these facial models look in the updated graphics.

With that tedious DLC out of the way, the Ezio collection is complete. Now, Acharky and I are free to start the final game in Desmond’s story: Assassin’s Creed 3.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

So to correct myself, the original pitch for Assassin’s Creed 3 was that after beating Abstergo, Desmond and Lucy would go off into space to start a new civilization as Adam and Eve while the world burned in the Mayan Apocalypse. This is why Adam and Eve were depicted in THE TRUTH back in Assassin’s Creed 2, thematically introducing that parallel.

As I said in the episode, I don’t think this ending is good. However, it is consistent with what they established in all the games before, including Revelations. With all the hype surrounding Desmond in-universe, not making him the star of the show is extremely anticlimactic. It’s a problem that the change in plans never really addressed.

And plans did change when the series was restructured into a yearly franchise, as they needed to make sure there was room for future games set in this world. This is one reason why I dislike Assassin’s Creed 3, especially as someone who defends Desmond’s role in the games fairly often. I suspect if it had been given the time and resources, as Assassin’s Creed game set in the modern day could’ve been fun.

But alas, that is merely a hypothetical, and not the game we received. It would be unfair to judge the real Assassin’s Creed 3 based on those merits. Thus, I doubt I will find myself discussing this again until we reach the end of the game.

There is somehow more to the pointless DLC, and by god Acharky and I are going to finish it so we can finally start Assassin’s Creed 3.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Thanks to whoever is running the “Assassin’s Creed Series” YouTube channel for their video which depicts the true ending of The Lost Archive, because I was not interesting it doing any of that work.

In fact, I doubt I will ever be touching this DLC or its mechanics ever again. This experience is awful and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

Thankfully, that means we’re finally ready for Assassin’s Creed 3.

There’s a deep, profound truth hidden in the depths of Subject 16’s memory… probably.

I dunno. But I dragged Acharky into playing it with me to find out.

Streamed at https://www.twitch.tv/newdarkcloud

Let us just be open and honest about it: It makes no sense whatsoever for Lucy to be a Templar. They clearly weren’t intending for her to be anything but loyal to the Assassins in the first two games. And this “twist” only exists because Kristen Bell, the actress who played Lucy, was not going to be rehired for future games. It is profoundly difficult to discuss this twist absent that context because it is largely defined by it.

Honestly, it’s even worse to backfill this explanation in a DLC this bland and boring, rather than touch on it in the main game. It is arguably the only important plot point in The Lost Archive. And even then, it doesn’t justify the sheer time investment required to see it.