Turns out our girlfriend was actually a robot this whole time, and Rufus Shinra needs her so that he can fire the laser on his solar-powered kill satellite.
So Acharky and I are off to space to stop him. That’s just what one does when they’re The Bouncer. After all, Bouncers put their life on the line every day of their lives!
If I’m being honest, I’m still not convinced that I have any idea what was going on at any moment in the plot, but all of the bouncers are back at the bar and Sion’s girlfriend is doing alright so I guess it’s all fine.
That said, I can appreciate this game for what it is, even if I could never recommend it in good faith. It’s dumb, rough, and janky. But it’s also charming for almost those exact same reasons.
It is also the last time I will ever play it. I got the experience I wanted, and have no desire to repeat it.
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